Evil Overlord – 7/28/08

If I were an evil overlord this week here are three things I would do:

1) Kill the Osmonds. Why are they on still on television? It’s the teeth or date rape drugs. One or the other.

2) Ban Soft Rock. This genre is quite the quandry. To think that something as rebelious and free spirited as rock can be mutated and synthesized into predictable lyrics about love. Why don’t they try spicing things up a bit. Instead of rhyming baby with baby a thousand times, maybe they should rhyme baby with gravy. Yes talk about love gravy. Gross.

3) I would have a shoot to kill order on anyone who uses the words, “No offense.” Before they say something really offensive. I’ve never understand what these two words do. I’m still offended. For example, if you say “no offense, but your BO is so bad it smells like feces.” chances are I will be offended, even if you do say no offense.